


I Felt It

by gelos



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 10:44:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gelos/pseuds/gelos
Summary: John and Sherlock discuss the look they shared at John's wedding, just after Mary's pregnancy wasrevealed.





	I Felt It

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I last posted, and there are many reasons to why that is. One of them is how I'm still learning that what I write doesnt need to be perfect in order for me to post it . So, I had this drabble in my draft folder and I decided to post it. It's really nothing special, just something to remind you guys and myself that I can still do this if I work for it and continue to learn. xx
> 
> [ [tumblr post]](https://gelos.tumblr.com/post/186777475770/i-felt-it-you-know-what-i-mean-john-indeed)

“I felt it. You know what I mean.”

John indeed knew what Sherlock meant. The night of his wedding, the end of an era, the news of an unexpected pregnancy. Most importantly, the look they had shared exactly at that moment.

The look had said sorrow, regret, sadness. It had transmitted everything not said in years. They both understood what it meant at the time, but neither said a word. What could they have said? Everything was shit and John had just gotten married. There wasn’t anything to do. 

But that was then. Now, John was back at Baker Street, they found out the baby was fake, and Mary was gone. Despite all this, Sherlock and John never mentioned The Look until now.

This topic of conversation came about after hours of investigation and research for a case, tired sighs and takeout dinner. Sometimes, in moments like these when they felt completely in their element and one hundred per cent trusting in each other, the courage to ask certain questions and talk simply and naturally rose up, allowing all that had passed between them and Mary to be discussed. 

In this particular day, after dinner and with them sitting in their respective chairs with a cup of tea, John asked how was Sherlock capable of deducing the fake pregnancy. The answer was, of course, that Mary faked all the symptoms for Sherlock to deduce. After that answer, Sherlock gave John a look. That’s when he said it. 

“I felt it.”

Silence. John looked up from his tea. 

“You know what I mean,” Sherlock continued. 

“I never thought we’d ever talk about this,” John said, appreciating the comforting heat coming from his mug.

“I never thought I’d have the courage to bring it up.”

“What changed, then?” 

Everything was quiet. The streets were uncommonly empty at this hour, few cars driving by. The only sounds filling up the living room were their breaths, the crackling from the fireplace and the occasional muffled noises of Ms Hudson downstairs going about.

John could see Sherlock was hesitant. He had his head down and was holding the mug tighter than necessary. John wanted to reach out, tell him to continue. At the same time, he knew he had to give Sherlock space for what he was about to say. 

After a few seconds,

“You – us. It’s just the two of us again. Baker Street, solving crimes, you blogging about it..I know you’ve been through a lot, yet… This feels like a second chance.”

“I agree,” John responded simply with a shy smile on his face. He felt truly at peace for the first time in a long time. 

Hearing this, Sherlock brows went slightly up, his mouth opened in surprise. 

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“So, indeed –“

“Yes.”

John put his mug on the rug, beside the armchair, and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, head up looking at the man in front of him. 

“You know what that look meant. Nothing’s changed, I… I still feel the same. I wouldn’t have brought it up- I know things between us have been a bit complicated, and I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes…But Sherlock,” he took a deep breath, somehow trying to keep the emotions in but failing, “I never forgot that look. Nothing’s changed. You must know.”

John had tears coming out of his eyes. He didn’t care. 

“John-“The name came out like a sigh.

“Come here.”

Sherlock did. He sat on the rug right in front of John, between his legs. John’s hands went straight to his face, thumbs caressing cheekbones. 

“I know I hurt you. I’m so sorry Sherlock, for everything, I really am. I was so alone, I didn’t know what to do-“

“I know, I know. It’s okay. It’s only us again. The two of us.”

They were both smiling through the tears at this point, and just like it was the most natural thing in the world, like it was always meant to be – John leaned down and pressed his lips to Sherlock’s. 

And just like that, John finally understood that between all his bad choices and regrets, he must’ve done something right, cause life finally brought him to here, to Sherlock. 


End file.
